Doors

God closes doors for a reason, it's people like me that are stupid enough to open them again.
What we find...is horrendous, heartbreaking, and it all becomes clear why the door was closed. The door was closed to protect us from what would crush us. But, I guess, being crushed isn't all that bad. I can cling to HIM even more. In my weakness, he is strong. You are all I need. All I've ever needed.
I give you my heart....for the thousandth time, I pray that you would take my life....stop letting me be so stupid. Oh my heavy heart, he is near to you. 
What is the love of one person if the God of the universe loved me ever before time began? 
Thank you God for loving me. You are my all.


Helena
P.s. In the end, everything will be ok, if it's not ok, it's not the end. -Unknown

I like taquitos

Tell me, why is it that, it's incredibly easy to give in to sin, when we know the guilt, shame, discontent, and hurt that will come with it? And still, it's so hard to accept love that comes with just that. LOVE. Mercy, compassion, grace, and the best part is that it's never-ending. It's eternal, and nothing can end it-stop it, or lessen it.


I'm having such a hard time accepting that God loves me. He could wipe me off of eternity in a span of his finger, and no one would notice, I wouldn't even notice, because I would be gone!! But he doesn't?


I've asked this so often...and I asked, well, God, what if you just created a Helena who is more obedient than me, and it was one of those moments when God kind of chuckles at us. He told me that, a more obedient Helena, isn't Helena.


Oofigdhuhhhhhhhhhhhh...my fingers feel like lead...
sorry...that's random.
Bahahaha, I'M NOT SORRY!!! Why would I ever be sorry for being random?
Psh, silly.


So, my friend Lydia,
God could not have been more exact on the placement of her in my life. Haha, why would he be off....haha, he's God.


Anyways, that's all I have to say. Off to the gym!!


With love, and a bucket of Kosher pickles,
Helena Elise