Every single day, I see someone I would enjoy taking a long walk with, holding hands with, or stealing a kiss from. Deciding not to date...even for one year of highschool, is going to be one of the most difficult challenges I have taken up. While last year I only really began a relationship in the last few months of school, it was a relationship nonetheless. But my God is worth every day of this. I'm going to need prayer, for any of you that continue to read my blog. I mean, every girls likes to be flattered and doted on. My problem is that I have found myself loving those compliments more than what the God of the universe says about me. The point is not to make a statement about the ludicracy of highschool relationships, but to find myself in God. It's to regocnize that my identity comes from my creator. Not from an adolescent boy. I want to wait. I want to have something special for my future husband.
So it goes...
FOR NARNIA!!!!!!
(but really for God)
love,
helena
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Please prove yourself wrong
My house is shaking with the rolls of thunder. As we tell travis- the angels ae bowling. Life is so precious, but shouldn't eternity be even more so? Why are we more focused on saving the life, than saving the eternity? Food for thought.
I think that's all I have for today.
With mustard seeds and grape juice,
Helena elise
I think that's all I have for today.
With mustard seeds and grape juice,
Helena elise
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
How I know I'm alive
This morning was my idea of a perfect sky.
The clouds covered the sky in grey, but it's not the ominous grey which foretells of rain, it's the calm grey that says, "just sleep". Then the wind blows some of the clouds away and you can see that Colorado blue sky peeking through. And it is quiet, with the distant roar of civilization buzzing in the background, but the most prominent sound is that of the doves and the crows and the stellar jays cooing to the rising sun. The humming birds sit and take long drinks because everything is still, and the morning dew is like a blanket of safety for their delicate existence. Every animal sits with quiet reverence looking towards this morning masterpiece in awe. They know their maker. The morning was like something from my imagination. It was what I suppose Neverland or heaven is like. It only gets better. The clouds have cleared, the the sun warms the earth. The flowers greet God with beautiful delicacy and wonder; the trees straighten their spines and stand in their proper place, as guardians of the forest. The earth is alive with God's majesty, and I get to witness it.
I so often forget how incredible life is. I don't need anything to be added or taken away from it for it to be anything short of inspiring and every bit as lovely as God intended. Life is amazing. I am so blessed to be able to breathe in God's majesty. How much more amazing will it be to stand in His presence one day.
Those are my thoughts today. Enjoy life. Breathe in deep. Laugh and don't forget who we live for.
Love,
Helena
The clouds covered the sky in grey, but it's not the ominous grey which foretells of rain, it's the calm grey that says, "just sleep". Then the wind blows some of the clouds away and you can see that Colorado blue sky peeking through. And it is quiet, with the distant roar of civilization buzzing in the background, but the most prominent sound is that of the doves and the crows and the stellar jays cooing to the rising sun. The humming birds sit and take long drinks because everything is still, and the morning dew is like a blanket of safety for their delicate existence. Every animal sits with quiet reverence looking towards this morning masterpiece in awe. They know their maker. The morning was like something from my imagination. It was what I suppose Neverland or heaven is like. It only gets better. The clouds have cleared, the the sun warms the earth. The flowers greet God with beautiful delicacy and wonder; the trees straighten their spines and stand in their proper place, as guardians of the forest. The earth is alive with God's majesty, and I get to witness it.
I so often forget how incredible life is. I don't need anything to be added or taken away from it for it to be anything short of inspiring and every bit as lovely as God intended. Life is amazing. I am so blessed to be able to breathe in God's majesty. How much more amazing will it be to stand in His presence one day.
Those are my thoughts today. Enjoy life. Breathe in deep. Laugh and don't forget who we live for.
Love,
Helena
Monday, July 25, 2011
Doors
God closes doors for a reason, it's people like me that are stupid enough to open them again.
What we find...is horrendous, heartbreaking, and it all becomes clear why the door was closed. The door was closed to protect us from what would crush us. But, I guess, being crushed isn't all that bad. I can cling to HIM even more. In my weakness, he is strong. You are all I need. All I've ever needed.
I give you my heart....for the thousandth time, I pray that you would take my life....stop letting me be so stupid. Oh my heavy heart, he is near to you.
What is the love of one person if the God of the universe loved me ever before time began?
Thank you God for loving me. You are my all.
Helena
P.s. In the end, everything will be ok, if it's not ok, it's not the end. -Unknown
What we find...is horrendous, heartbreaking, and it all becomes clear why the door was closed. The door was closed to protect us from what would crush us. But, I guess, being crushed isn't all that bad. I can cling to HIM even more. In my weakness, he is strong. You are all I need. All I've ever needed.
I give you my heart....for the thousandth time, I pray that you would take my life....stop letting me be so stupid. Oh my heavy heart, he is near to you.
What is the love of one person if the God of the universe loved me ever before time began?
Thank you God for loving me. You are my all.
Helena
P.s. In the end, everything will be ok, if it's not ok, it's not the end. -Unknown
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I like taquitos
Tell me, why is it that, it's incredibly easy to give in to sin, when we know the guilt, shame, discontent, and hurt that will come with it? And still, it's so hard to accept love that comes with just that. LOVE. Mercy, compassion, grace, and the best part is that it's never-ending. It's eternal, and nothing can end it-stop it, or lessen it.
I'm having such a hard time accepting that God loves me. He could wipe me off of eternity in a span of his finger, and no one would notice, I wouldn't even notice, because I would be gone!! But he doesn't?
I've asked this so often...and I asked, well, God, what if you just created a Helena who is more obedient than me, and it was one of those moments when God kind of chuckles at us. He told me that, a more obedient Helena, isn't Helena.
Oofigdhuhhhhhhhhhhhh...my fingers feel like lead...
sorry...that's random.
Bahahaha, I'M NOT SORRY!!! Why would I ever be sorry for being random?
Psh, silly.
So, my friend Lydia,
God could not have been more exact on the placement of her in my life. Haha, why would he be off....haha, he's God.
Anyways, that's all I have to say. Off to the gym!!
With love, and a bucket of Kosher pickles,
Helena Elise
I'm having such a hard time accepting that God loves me. He could wipe me off of eternity in a span of his finger, and no one would notice, I wouldn't even notice, because I would be gone!! But he doesn't?
I've asked this so often...and I asked, well, God, what if you just created a Helena who is more obedient than me, and it was one of those moments when God kind of chuckles at us. He told me that, a more obedient Helena, isn't Helena.
Oofigdhuhhhhhhhhhhhh...my fingers feel like lead...
sorry...that's random.
Bahahaha, I'M NOT SORRY!!! Why would I ever be sorry for being random?
Psh, silly.
So, my friend Lydia,
God could not have been more exact on the placement of her in my life. Haha, why would he be off....haha, he's God.
Anyways, that's all I have to say. Off to the gym!!
With love, and a bucket of Kosher pickles,
Helena Elise
Monday, June 20, 2011
An infant, constructing a city.
Okay, God, you have my attention.
I get it.
This isn't your plan.
I asked for a sign, a obvious, but gentle sign.
Well, obvious...gentle-not exactly.
Please don't let me go, I need your strength now, more than ever.
I love you.
Helena
I can't decide how I feel about it...those moments when God shows up, and shakes our lives. The ones we have built, and tweaked to our satisfaction. God steps in and says, "That's not how I planned it." But I know he's right, and true, and faithful, and good....and this time, I'll listen.
Helena Elise
I get it.
This isn't your plan.
I asked for a sign, a obvious, but gentle sign.
Well, obvious...gentle-not exactly.
Please don't let me go, I need your strength now, more than ever.
I love you.
Helena
I can't decide how I feel about it...those moments when God shows up, and shakes our lives. The ones we have built, and tweaked to our satisfaction. God steps in and says, "That's not how I planned it." But I know he's right, and true, and faithful, and good....and this time, I'll listen.
Helena Elise
Friday, June 3, 2011
Life and Peace
Well, it seems like it's been a lifetime since I've been on here...pouring out my thoughts onto a digital journal which no one ever reads....nevertheless, I have some things I want to say.
Today I've been thinking about death.
Maybe it's from the 4 hours of sleep I got, or simply that it's such a hard concept to grasp, but thinking about death brings tears to my eyes. My sister, Sara, just recently lost a friend, and as I watch her mourn her loss, and accept what has happened, I often stop to think about how I would handle the death of someone so near to me.
I hope that I would be like Job, from the bible, and after everything he had was taken away, his children died, and his wife left him, that I would praise God's name. The terrifying truth though, is that I have a feeling I would scream and run away from God. I know his plan is...incomprehensible, and much more detailed than we acknowledge, but if I lost my mom, or my dad, or one of my closest friends, I can't shake the feeling that I would shake my fist at God, and walk away.
It's possible that the terror I feel at the thought of losing someone, is all coming from the beast...the one out for my soul...satan. As I ponder this, I realize that it really is. The devil rejoices in my doubt, and he laughs when I feel weak, and so, in what little competitive nature I have, I am compelled to prove him wrong.
Look now satan, I am stronger than you will ever be, and even if my God calls one of my brothers or sisters home early, I will still praise his name.
The next thing I have to talk about, which relates in a round-about way, is peace. A quote from one of my favorite movies first, Bella, "I used to worry. Then I found out that 10 out of 10 people....die."
I worry. I stress. I have issues with being anxious and high strung. Most of all, this year, I worry about my dad. He's deployed, and every moment I pray for a hedge of protection around him...I don't know what my family would do without him. I have so many friends reassuring me that he will be safe, and God is protecting him, but the comfort that has stood out the most, are the words of wisdom from my dearest friend Lydia.
Lydia \l(y)-dia\ as a girl's name is pronounced LED-ee-ah. Biblical: a Christian woman called a "seller of purple" and described as a woman of business, probably affluent.
Purple is a royal color, right? Well, in the literal sense, this meaning makes no sense. In a symbolic sense, this name fits her to the t. Almost everything that comes from her mouth, is purple. They are the royal words of my Jesus. Once, I was having a rough day because I missed my dad. When I got home, I was texting Lydia, and she relayed this verse to me from Psalms, "Be at peace once more, oh my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." I doubt that could have been any more perfect. Now, when I worry, I remind myself that, yes, the LORD HAS been good to me. How should I forget it? Lydia...is amazing. Godly and uplifting and funny and smart and an amazing writer, my life will forever be changed with her in it.
Alright, well that's all I have for now.
Have a blessed day!!!
Love,
Helena
Today I've been thinking about death.
Maybe it's from the 4 hours of sleep I got, or simply that it's such a hard concept to grasp, but thinking about death brings tears to my eyes. My sister, Sara, just recently lost a friend, and as I watch her mourn her loss, and accept what has happened, I often stop to think about how I would handle the death of someone so near to me.
I hope that I would be like Job, from the bible, and after everything he had was taken away, his children died, and his wife left him, that I would praise God's name. The terrifying truth though, is that I have a feeling I would scream and run away from God. I know his plan is...incomprehensible, and much more detailed than we acknowledge, but if I lost my mom, or my dad, or one of my closest friends, I can't shake the feeling that I would shake my fist at God, and walk away.
It's possible that the terror I feel at the thought of losing someone, is all coming from the beast...the one out for my soul...satan. As I ponder this, I realize that it really is. The devil rejoices in my doubt, and he laughs when I feel weak, and so, in what little competitive nature I have, I am compelled to prove him wrong.
Look now satan, I am stronger than you will ever be, and even if my God calls one of my brothers or sisters home early, I will still praise his name.
The next thing I have to talk about, which relates in a round-about way, is peace. A quote from one of my favorite movies first, Bella, "I used to worry. Then I found out that 10 out of 10 people....die."
I worry. I stress. I have issues with being anxious and high strung. Most of all, this year, I worry about my dad. He's deployed, and every moment I pray for a hedge of protection around him...I don't know what my family would do without him. I have so many friends reassuring me that he will be safe, and God is protecting him, but the comfort that has stood out the most, are the words of wisdom from my dearest friend Lydia.
Lydia \l(y)-dia\ as a girl's name is pronounced LED-ee-ah. Biblical: a Christian woman called a "seller of purple" and described as a woman of business, probably affluent.
Purple is a royal color, right? Well, in the literal sense, this meaning makes no sense. In a symbolic sense, this name fits her to the t. Almost everything that comes from her mouth, is purple. They are the royal words of my Jesus. Once, I was having a rough day because I missed my dad. When I got home, I was texting Lydia, and she relayed this verse to me from Psalms, "Be at peace once more, oh my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." I doubt that could have been any more perfect. Now, when I worry, I remind myself that, yes, the LORD HAS been good to me. How should I forget it? Lydia...is amazing. Godly and uplifting and funny and smart and an amazing writer, my life will forever be changed with her in it.
Alright, well that's all I have for now.
Have a blessed day!!!
Love,
Helena
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